Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
All the doctor said was why
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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