Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I need help removing her.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
