I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
