He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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