i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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