Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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