TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
