the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
