there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
