filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
