How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
