Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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