Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There r osticjed everywhere
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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