I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
