And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
