My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I wish I only lived at night.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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