oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
