chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
