A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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