I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
