Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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