just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
