I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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