the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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