im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
