Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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