make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
