I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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