forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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