i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
