I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
His nipple licking is glorious
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