I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
she pinky promised me she was 18
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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