sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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