We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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