i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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