my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
