You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Randomize
