yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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