it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
