Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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