if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
