I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
