I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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