____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize