Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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