I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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