I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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