I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
