we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
