just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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