I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
