Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
