textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
