So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
