I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
