I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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