dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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