First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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