it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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