WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize